Kafka most certainly appreciated young ladies – his last young lover attempted to leap into his grave.
And he did have an affinity for cockroaches though, to be accurate, he did not describe his “giant vermin” as a cockroach.
And he enjoyed swimming.
So, perhaps he would not mind making a splash.
Finding a bug floating around in the swimming pool is bad enough, but finding a six-foot cockroach bobbing about in the water is something else entirely. Take a look at this inflatable cockroach to see what we mean.
It’s called the Kangaroo’s Gigantic Cockroach Raft (obviously), and it’s perfect for people who like to swim alone. After all, chances are that most people will scatter like, well, roaches, as soon as you and your inflatable insect arrive in the pool. It’s available to buy on Amazon (although it looks like it belongs IN the Amazon) for only $29.99, and it’s sure to provide some wholesome entertainment. “My mother in law is afraid of roaches lol we got this to scare her and it worked so well!!!” reads one review. “My son loved riding on it and attacking her. Great family fun!!” Need we say more?
I owe my life to Hitler, though I never met the man. My father was paid to stop Hitler, so there is no conflict of interest. I was given a thunk on the back o' the head by God when I was fifteen, and within a week began to write. I haven't stopped. My first novel was accepted 'over the transom'. My first editor/author luncheon in New York included a naked man with roller skates at the next table. For the sake of research I have lain on Kafka's grave, but I did not weep. I wish upon my own gravestone the phrase "Thank God He Didn't Die A Virgin". There is truth in every truth - so watch out.
My published novels include the popular fantasy A Lost Tale and the thriller The Bonner Deception. I also have two editions of humorous and spiritual short stories, The Elephant Talks to God, which are appreciated by both young and old.
My manuscripts range from stories about unicorns and druids in the 'Passing Through Trilogy' to the 9/11 destruction of New York. I have filled in the missing diaries of Franz Kafka; recounted the first person dementia of a serial killer; explored the outrageous lifestyle of the famous; and listened in while an elephant and God converse. I currently switch my attention between the saga of a family of onion farmers, from Fourth century Italy to the present day, and a contemporary NATO thriller.
I live in Canada and make Nova Scotia my home.
I prefer to travel by train, but embrace the computer age with passion. I am always on the hunt for unique onion recipes.
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