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July 2017

Trump And A Soldier Walk Into A Bar

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~ Good Day to you, Mr. President.

~ Take it easy, soldier.

~ Sir.

~ You know – at ease.

~ Yes, Sir.

~ What can I get you?

~ I’m not allowed to drink on duty, Sir.

~ I’m your Commander-in-Chief. I can allow it.

~ You’d have to order me, Sir.

~ Would that work?

~ I don’t know, Sir. That’s above my pay grade.

~ Not above mine.

~ No, Sir.

~ I have billions.

~ Yes, Sir.

~ Billions and billions and billions.

~ Yes, Sir.

~ I could pay you to drink.

~ I couldn’t take pay, Sir.

~ It would be a bribe?

~ No other word for it, Sir.

~ So – what do you think of the cross-dressers?

~ Pardon me, Sir?

~ You know – cross-dressers in the military.

~ We’re all cross-dressers in the military, Sir.

~ What?

~We take off our civvies and put on a uniform. Sir.

~ Then that isn’t it.

~ No, Sir.

~ Gotcha. It’s the transgenders.You know them?

~ In truth, I don’t, Sir. Those uniforms keep things private.

~ But you must wonder about them.

~ Not for a second, Sir.

~ You don’t care what’s between their legs?

~ No, Sir.

~ That doesn’t sound natural.

~ Sir, as long as they carry a gun and got my back – I don’t care what’s between their legs.

DE

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Trump And A Boy Scout Walk Into A Bar

Trump

 

~ Pardon me, Mr. President.

~ Sure, kid, I’ll pardon you. What have you done?

~ No, I don’t mean that. I mean, beg my pardon.

~ Polite boy. Delightful. Love that. What?

~ I’m not old enough to be in a bar.

~ That’s OK – I don’t even drink.

~ Then why …

~ Anyway – I can still pardon you, if you need it.

~ … are we …

~ It’s good to be the king.

~ Were you ever a Boy Scout, Mr. President?

~ Boy, Boy Scouts are great. They’re boys and they’re great.

~ But were you –

~ Boys make up Boy Scouts – all boys.

~ That’s why they’re called Boy Scouts, Mr. President.

~ Never too young to get those badges. Tie those knots.

~ We have to work to get –

~ I like tying people up in knots.

~ It takes us hours of –

~ I mean with words – tie them up. No real knots. Lot’s of words. Lots.

~ It takes many hours of work.

~ Though you can tie people up with rope. Many reasons.

~ Mr. President?

~ Yup, Scout boy. Nice uniform.

~ If I do get a drink, will you still pardon me?

~ One billion percent. I will. Maybe more. Trust me.

DE

(image)https://content.assets.pressassociation.io/2017/07/25115234/PA-321782861.jpg

Trump And Spicer Walk Into A Bar

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~ I hope you’re going to treat me big time.

~ Now, Spicey – no hard feelings.

~ I serve at the pleasure of the President.

~ I asked you to stay on.

~ You knew I wouldn’t.

~ Yeh – but it’s more important how it looks than how it is. Believe me.

~ How it looks is that you don’t trust me.

~ Well, you turned into kind of a Bozo.

~ Doing what you wanted.

~ Spicey, you should have done better.

~ No one could have hit your curve balls.

~ You did something for me, though.

~ What?

~ Got people to stop taking about that Baldwin bastard and froth over that McCarty bitch.

~ That wasn’t something I organised.

~ Tell you what, though.

~ What?

~ She was kinda funny.

~ And Baldwin wasn’t?

~ Couldn’t see it myself. I don’t have jowls like that.

~ Well …

~ Anyway, I have a great new posting for you.

~ What?

~ Ambassador to the Vatican.

~ You’re shitting me.

~ Yeh. But it was worth the look on your face.

DE

(image)mediahttp://media.vanityfair.com/photos/589e16f5a6fb29f80aee22de/16:9/pass/donald-trump-sean-spicer.jpg?mbid=social_retweet

A Hotel In Prague Where Once Kafka Worked

I have visited Prague for my novel, Kafka In The Castle, and visited many of the places that were part of  Kafka’s life. One such place – the small house where he wrote a whole book of short stories – became a setting for a third of my novel.

However, the place where he was employed and toiled  for so many years, The Workers’ Accident Insurance Institute for the Kingdom of Bohemia in Prague, I only saw at a distance across a Square. It was not a happy place for Kafka, though he was very successful at his employ, and rose to an administrative position of importance. It was not really much of a setting for my novel.

That building is now a fancy hotel, and Kafka’s office is a room for rent. It is even designated The Franz Kafka room, and contains mementos. It is where I plan to stay when next I visit. I hope there is not a long list of folk wishing to spend the night there, too.

Here is some information, and some photos of the room.

In addition, is one of the few diary entries I wrote, set in his office building, for Kafka In The Castle.

DE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hotel is situated in the heart of Prague, next to the Old Town Square, where the famous medieval astronomical clock is mounted on the southern wall of the Old Town City Hall. The Neo-Baroque building was built in the 19th century by Alfonse Wertmuller, a famous architect in Prague. It was formerly the office of the Workers’ Accident Insurance of Kingdom of Bohemia, where Franz Kafka worked as an insurance clerk from 1908 to 1922. His spirit can still be felt in the hotel, as his bronze bust welcomes guests in the lobby in front of the majestic stairs.
hotel-century-old-town
room
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Excerpt from Kafka In The Castle

16 February 1917

There was a commotion at the office today. It was late morning, and from far below, coming up the stairwell, I could hear a voice bellowing: “Doktor Kafka. Doktor Kafka.” It was a terrible voice, full of blood and darkness. I got from my desk and went to the door. There were other voices, trying to calm, saying: “He can’t be disturbed.” But the voice was louder, more horrible, close in the corridor.  “Doktor Kafka – for the love of God.”   My secretary wanted me to stay inside, hoped the man would just move along the corridor until the police were summoned. But – I was curious; the man had my name, and his voice was … terrified.

I opened the door and stood in front of it.  “I’m Kafka,” I said. The man lunged at me, and went to his knees.  “Doktor Kafka?” he said.  “Yes, I’m Kafka.” He reached out, grabbing for my hand.  “Jesus, Jesus, for the love of Jesus – they say that you’ll help me.”  He was a heavy man, and looked as if he had the strength to pull off doors, yet the tears burst from his eyes.  “I can get no work. I fell from a bridge, and my back is twisted and in pain.” He slumped against the wall, looking at my eyes.  “I have a family, Doktor Kafka. A baby not a year old.”  “You were working on this bridge?” I asked.  “Yes.” His voice slid down his throat. “I was helping repair the surface.”  “Then you deserve your insurance. Why can’t you get it?” He straightened up, and tried to stand. “I have to fill in papers; the doctor can see no wounds; the foreman said I drank; because my brother is a thief, I am not to be trusted.” I held out my hand, and he slowly stood. “I’m telling you the truth, Doktor Kafka.”  “If that is so,” I said, “you’ll get the money due you.”  “I’m so tired,” he said.

I gave instructions to those standing around – no other work was to be done until this man’s case was decided. I took him to my office, where he sat. He sat – practically without a word – for five hours. I summoned a prominent doctor to look at him. The doctor prodded, and the man screamed. Officials from his village were telephoned. I helped him with the details on the forms. His truth was in his pain. He left our stony building with money in his hand, and his worth restored. The people who assisted me had smiles on their faces. A man had needed their help.

If I Were A Rich Man As My Email Desires

 

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(image)https://accelerator-origin.kkomando.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/email-scam-inbox-Komando-created-photo.jpg

From “Dear Email User” to Dear Beneficiary” my dear email buddies bid me take advantage of the great wealth (and other offers) they wish to shower upon me.

A whole lot of them seem to come in a whole big bunch.

I ponder their kind offers.

DE

 

Not starred
OFFICE
OFFICE OF DIRECTOR OF PAYMENT UNITED NATIONS. – OFFICE OF DIRECTOR OF PAYMENT UNITED NATIONS. UNITED NATIONS PAYMENT OFFICE, JAKARTA INDONESIA. Attention, I am Mark Anderson, International Director of Payment United Nations payment office Jakarta
10 Jul
Not starred
Mr. Kelly Jackson
CONTACT WESTERN UNION OFFICE FOR YOUR PAYMENT – Attn: We have deposited your fund ($4.7 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) Via Western Union department after our finally meeting regarding your fund, All you will do is to contact Western Union director MR
9 Jul
Not starred
Mr.Robert Gray
YOUR FIRST PAYMENT OF $5,000 – Attn: Beneficiary, This is to inform you that after our meeting with the Ministry of Finance,we have agreed to transfer your Compensation payment of $1.500, 00000 USD through MoneyGram Transfer.However
5 Jul
Not starred
DR.PETER IKEY OBI
Re,Attn Sir/Madam – Hello Dear How are you it has been a long time,actually i have sent you severa emails without receiving your responds. However,as i have not seen your email for a long time now,i have decided to open
5 Jul
Not starred
Rev. Jerry Mark
ATTN: Fund Beneficiary – ATTN: Fund Beneficiary We have finally succeeded in getting your package worthy of $7.8Million out of delivery your consignment with the help of Dr Ben Moon Attorney General of Federal High Court of
4 Jul
Not starred
Mr. Bright Smith
Bank of America Corporate Office, – Bank of America Corporate Office Headquarters 1100 Mohawk St Utica, NY 13501 Our Ref:BOA/IRU/SFE/15.5/WD/011 United States of America Monday-Friday 8 am-9 pm Eastern Daylight Time (EDT) Saturday and
28 Jun
Not starred
Pandora
Today is the last day! FREE Shipping with your $75 Purchase. lYNXywLsnDWdhvq – 714 Arborwood Parkway,Chamblee,Garst,922081495030329105 1268 Martinel Court,Jackson,Glendale,182481495030329105 Gifted Jewelries 50% OFF Just For You We are amazed by all your fantastic travel moments!
25 Jun
Not starred
 
22 Jun
Not starred
Adweek
20 Jun
Not starred
Donald Lewis
Dear Email User, – Dear Email User, This is to inform you once again that Your email address have won the sum of$2500000 Dollars (Two Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) in our First quarter Year of Power-ball draw
20 Jun
Not starred
Updates Facebook
 
17 Jun
Not starred 14 Jun
Not starred
MRS CAROL MARK
Dear:Beneficiary, – Dear:Beneficiary, I have registered your ATM with UPS this morning and we agreed up that your of USD4.8 in ATM CARD delivery will take place Tomorrow morning so kindly reconfirm you full information to
12 Jun

 

 

 

 

 

#Trump And #Merkel Walk Into A Bar In Hamburg

trump-merkel

~ You are not quite the tuff bad boy I expected, Herr Donald.

~  Maybe not – but your stiff starchiness is evident, Frau Reich Chancellor.

~ One must keep you and the Tzar of all the Russias in their place.

~ Nothing is going to keep Vlad in his corner of his empire.

~ True.

~ Unless . . .

~ Speak it up, Herr Donald.

~ I dunno – you never know who is listening these days.

~ I think we’re safe – the Tzar is on his way home.

~ But “home” is the operative word, Angie.

~ Then you had best whisper into my shell-like ear.

~ All we’d need is a Twitter GIF of that!

~ Not to worry – I’ll just roll my eyes.

~ Well – Frau Angie – why don’t we form an Anchluss?

~ I think you mean an alliance, Herr Donald.

~ I’ll leave the technicalities to you.

~ And we’d already have an alliance, Der Donald, if you behaved yourself.

~ Did you just say “dear”?

~ Not in this lifetime.

~ Just checking, Angie.

~ Nor the one after.

~ The ladies like a bit of power – if you get my drift.

~ Hell would first freeze over.

~ I’m thinking you might accomplish that, Frau Reich Chancellor.

DE

(image)s.newsweek.com/sites/www.newsweek.com/files/styles/embed-lg/public/2017/07/07/trump-merkel.JPG

#Trump And #Putin Walk Into A Bar In Hamburg

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~ At least you do not offer me poison, Donald.

~ And you kindly offer me nothing, Vladimir.

~ I was taken aback when I learned you don’t drink.

~ Lips that touch liquor is the only way it touches me.

~ Still – Don – what is the point of getting through the day?

~ What do you mean?

~ If you never feel any better from beginning to end.

~ There are other ways – believe me.

~ Nothing as good as vodka – and I’ll drink to that.

~ Gotta admit, Vlad – there is one thing to tempt me to that bottle.

~ What?

~ Reich Chancellor Angela Dorothea Merkel.

~ Oy Vey!

~ “Amen” to that, Vlad.

~ That is one bitch in britches.

~ Freeze the balls right off you and use them for hockey pucks.

~ She gave me such a look.

~ Her handshake had the touch of death.

~ She has done one thing though, Don.

~ What, Vlad?

~ She has made comrades out of us, Comrade.

DE

(image)http://www.google.ca/search?q=Putin+%2B+Trump+%2B+Merkel&client=gmail&rls=aso&authuser=1&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj16ZHF6_fUAhUDcT4KHS0sD68Q_AUICCgD&biw=1366&bih=659#imgrc=7UWKn7dAWUaI3M:

Isle Of Man Celebrates Independence, If Not My Novel

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Because today is Tynwald Day on The Isle of Man, which is the Isle of Man’s National Day celebrating the Oldest Continuous Parliament in the World, it seems fitting (to me) to post the first review I had of my novel, A Lost Tale, that is set on the Isle of Man.

It is not a rave review.

DE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KIRKUS REVIEW

Lost–but not lost enough, this is an uneasy mix of soothsayers and spies.

Wounded German soldier Rolf lands on the Isle of Man during World War II and is taken under the wing of young Druid virgin Brigid and her friends.

Brigid falls in love with Roll, of course, but his recovery is slow and his fate is tied in with the appearance of a white unicorn on the beach.

Taggart, the leading Druid priest and a master of the supernatural, investigates Rolf’s background by way of other Druid soothsayers.

And then mysterious William Stephenson shows up looking for Rolf–yes, he’s the Stephenson, the Man called Intrepid and master of secret intelligence, and he knows Rolf’s secret: that he was sent to this beach to help his father, a brilliant Nazi scientist, escape from England with atomic secrets.

But the Celts have their own sense of destiny, quite independent of the British secret service, and their mystic signs determine that the secret of the horrible bomb must be destroyed right on the beach before even Stephenson can rescue it.

Will true love survive these warring conflicts?

Will the white unicorn appear once more?

Can Druidic power fight Nazi evil?

The answers are none too enlivening, but Canadian first-novelist Estey shows some talent for characterization and might do better next time, having now gotten both Druids and Nazis out of his system.

Belated Greetings And Returns To Kafka On His Birthday

405px-franz_kafka_-_4_jahre

03 July

My Present / Your Future

Still in this World

A Life Away

Dear F:

You would find it perverse to be wished a “Happy” birthday, but your response would be gracious. Such is the reality you understand, and how you deal with it. I have found that your reality is actually real.

Although it will give you no pleasure – well, ‘little’ pleasure – you are correct in all your observations.

Governments become the tools of the bureaucracies which run them. It doesn’t matter what type of Government, from the monarchy under which you lived, to the right wing horror of fascists that called themselves socialists, to the inept socialism pretending to be ‘for the people’. All three governments held their sway over the city where you spent your life. All three oppressed the people they ruled. All three looked after themselves first.

Writers are either writers or they aren’t. The urge to write encircles one like a snake around its prey. Feed it and it won’t quite squeeze you to death. You can not ignore it – even at your peril. It is with you every hour of every day, ever inquisitive and (sadly) always looking for something better.

Love is a see-saw of extremes. Every high guarantees a low. Every low reaches for a high. Every high reaches for a high. When these hills and valleys are eventually levelled, they are still desired.

Sex is highly over rated. The thing of it is, even rated fairly, ’tis a consummation devoutly to be had. Yes – I know – you appreciate Shakespeare. On a par with Goethe, even if you can’t bring yourself to say the words.

People are just one damned thing after another. Of course, so many people have brought you blessings, you throw up you hands to ward off the snake. And sometimes – some few times – it loosens its grip.

There is no castle with walls thick enough to hide against the perils of being human. Which is why you never tried.

Except the grave, of course.

Except the grave.

Yours,

D

DE

(image)http://silverbirchpress.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/405px-franz_kafka_-_4_jahre.jpg

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