April 2017

Month

Trump And Twitter Walk Into A Bar

~ 100 days @realDonaldTrump. Congratulations! What can I get you?

~ There’s nothing like a shot of tequila – believe me.

~ No sooner said than done.

~ Have them leave the bottle. We’ll be here awhile.

~ We will?

~ Yes. I do like Twitter.

~ It’s appreciated.

~ Short and sweet. If you can’t say it in a few words …

~ It isn’t worth saying?

~ You GOT it. I knew I liked this place.

~ The fewer the better.

~ I’ll tell you something about politicians.

~ Yes?

~ They love using a lot of words.

~ I know it.

~ They use words to hide things, not to tell things.

~ If you can’t say it in three sentences …

~Then why use four.

~ Politicians use a swamp of words.

~ And I’m draining the SWAMP.

~ Well, maybe not quite yet.

~ Trust me – I never knew there would be so much of it.

~ There’s no way of bombing it?

~ Not when I’m living there. AND I’m STILL living there.

~ Yes, indeed.

~There was talk of IMPEACHING my ass.

~ Wasn’t that the fake news?

~ And the real NEWS, too. SOBs

~ Guess you fooled them.

~ Part of the job of doing business.

~ So maybe we’ll drink about the next 100 days.

~ Hell if I know what’s going to happen.

04/28/2017 0

Unicorns Convince Christ To Sacrifice Himself

The first book in my Unicorn trilogy, entitled A LOST GOSPEL, centres around Christ’s death.

In the novel, unicorns were present to see Him born, and now must be present to see Him die. Glarus, the keeper of the unicorns, was also on hand for both events. In this excerpt, she assures Yeshua it is indeed the right time to make His sacrifice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

3363260044_7ec0617f87

The Stuttgart Psalter, an illuminated Carolingian manuscript
Place of origin: Saint-Germain-des-Prés
Date of manuscript : around 830 CE

A LOST GOSPEL

“I know your voice.”

“You may give yourself.” Glarus stepped closer.

“My Father takes this cup from me tonight?”‘

“Yes.”

“They won’t kill me in this place?” Yeshua glanced around the olive grove.

“I have but followed the unicorns.” Glarus touched them. “They have lead me here to take away your doubt.”

“We’ve met before.”

“A baby in a stable.” Glarus smiled at him. “You have become more than memory.”

“Do you still have spice upon your cloak?” Yeshua turned from her. “Behold. These men and their hatred approach.” He put a hand on each of the ivory shafts. “You must be gone.” Yeshua stepped aside. “Call them.” He smiled. “They are yours again.”

“Haah!”

The unicorns pawed at the ground near Yeshua, then went toward Glarus.

“More than memory.” She looked at him closely. “And more than just a man.”

Glarus put a hand on each unicorn‘s back, and together they returned the way they had come.

04/09/2017 0

Trump And Putin Walk Into A Bar

us-missiles-syria-2

~ Have you been drinking the vodka, Donald?

~ Why do you ask, Vlad?

~ Because you are acting like Russian.

~ You know what Ivanka told me?

~ Nyet

~ That I was Putin you in your place.

~ Maybe I’ll have other drink.

~ We all laughed, believe me.

~ A double, I think.

~ Even President Xi. I didn’t know a Chinaman laughed.

~ To hell with double. Leave the bottle.

~ You know what Ivanka said about Assad?

~ Let me fill glass.

~ She said that I Bashared his Ass.

~ Ivanka has a mouth.

~ Tears. We howled laughter until the tears came.

~ Maybe she’d like to sell dresses in Russia.

~ She’ll sell you the best dresses, believe me.

~ Maybe some fur hats – made in Crimea.

~ You don’t want her starting a war, do you?

~ Donsky – you’re a funny man.

~ It’s where she gets it. Believe me.

04/07/2017 0

Eating Fine Food In 13th Century China

I’m always on the look for onion news and recipes. There still might be a *third* Onion novel.

kafkaestblog

In my novel, China Lily, my main characters, Cepa Cannara and Matzerath, are on a year-long trading voyage from Italy to China on the good ship The Pegasus, thirty years before Marco Polo did the same. In this segment, they have a meal with their host, Lu-Hsing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

delicious-oyster-omelette

“You boys are in the Port of Zaitun.” Lu-Hsing speaks in an authoritative tone. “Fish a speciality.”

“There must be something else.” Matzerath points. “Look at all the cooks.”

“No soup?”

“Pah!”

“Trouble-making Round Eyes.” Lu-Hsing points to a wok near the end of the aisle and starts to walk. “We’ll try there.”

“What does he have?” Cepa falls into step behind Lu-Hsing, followed by Matzerath.

“Oyster omelette.”

“Eggs?” asks Matzerath.

“As many as you want.”

“That will take a big pan.”

“He can use a high-sided wok.” Lu-Hsing pretends to whisk something in a wok. “Plop it right onto a plate.”

View original post 630 more words

04/03/2017 0

Bring Out the Sweetness, Sweet Onion Spaghetti is Here

Bring out the sweet onions, spaghetti, pecorino romano and you have a super simple pasta that’s ultra satisfying. See more at PBS Food.

Peel and slice the onion(s) in half. Use a mandoline to slice half of the onions into very thin slices against the grain (the direction you would normally cut onion rings). Put the mandolined onions to a large bowl and fill with cold water. Let these onions rest until they are no longer too spicy.

Slice the other half of the onions by hand with the grain into 1/4-inch thick slices.

Source: Bring Out the Sweetness, Sweet Onion Spaghetti is Here

04/03/2017 0