Search

kafkaestblog

It is a whirlwind in here

Tag

Trump

Trump And MAGA Walk Into A Bar For The Last Time

donald-trump-maga-hat-off-ap

~ So, how you good old boys doing?


~ There’s a problem, Mr. President.


~ Some of you boys did me proud – Har-de-Har.


~ We’d say it’s a big problem.


~ ‘Big’ problem?


~ A hugely problem – Har-de-Har.


~  Now, I’m kinda busy.


~ Taking the silverware?


~ And the china.


~ Well, there’s a start – about China.


~ They started the killer flu.


~ And that’s another thing.


~ Eating bats – do you know they eat bats?


~  You’ve killed 400,000 from the flu.


~  That’s just that Fake News.


~ We’re burying our families. It ain’t fake.


~ Everyone catches the flu.


~ You said you’d do right by us.


~ Blame Biden, he stole the election.


~ Then he didn’t have time to kill Americans.


~ Well  , , , give him time.


~ We gave you time – look where it got us.


~ I’ll be back. 2024! 2024!


~ How often do you think you can fool us?


~  And Ivanka can follow me. 2028!


~ Donald, you’re a dumb prick in a stupid tie.


~ Clean your mouth. I’m the president.


~ Not no more. “No more years!”

~ Dumb pussies – I’ve got a plane to catch.

~ After we get our hat back.

[IMAGE] media.breitbart.com/media/2017/08/donald-trump-maga-hat-off-ap.jpg

Trump And Hitler Walk Into A Bar

 

~ Dolf – may I call you Dolf?
 
~ All my friends do.
 
~ Dolf!
 
~ What can I do for you, Don?
 
~ I am gefooked!
 
~ That you are.
 
~Any advice?
 
~ A weekend at Camp David.
 
~ That will help?
 
~ Pretend it’s The Wolf’s Lair.
 
~ Liar?
 
~ Close enough.
 
~ How do I get out of this?
 
~ Well – I killed myself.
 
~ That’s what my other friends say.
 
~ My friends died with me – you know, the real ones.
 
~ Fat chance of that.
 
~ Well, you went out with a whimper – not a bang.
 
~ I thought they’d rise up – take the country.
 
~ You never gave them anything – not even a Wall.
 
~ There was never any money in it.
 
~ At least I gave my people the Volkswagen.
 
~ Is that how you made your money?
 
~ No, I got all my money from the book I wrote.
 
~ Best seller?
 
~ Ja! Every household had to have one.
 
~ Maybe I can …
 
~ Nein – it’s no good for you.
 
~ Why?
 
~ Your followers can’t read.
 
 
[IMAGE] cdn.history.com/sites/2/2017/02/GettyImages-50379983-H.jpeg

Did Trump Charm Merkel?

 
I wrote the following blog three years ago, under the heading: “Trump And Merkel Walk Into A Bar In Hamburg” This just goes to show (kinda) that what goes around comes around.
 
So – now –  a former American ambassador to Germany said at the recent Republican National Convention that “… he saw President Donald Trump charm German Chancellor Angela Merkel”. When told this, Merkel’s expression indicated otherwise.
 
 
~ You are not quite the tuff bad boy I expected, Herr Donald.

~  Maybe not – but your stiff starchiness is evident, Frau Reich Chancellor.

~ One must keep you and the Tzar of all the Russias in their place.

~ Nothing is going to keep Vlad in his corner of his empire.

~ True.

~ Unless . . .

~ Speak it up, Herr Donald.

~ I dunno – you never know who is listening these days.

~ I think we’re safe – the Tzar is on his way home.

~ But “home” is the operative word, Angie.

~ Then you had best whisper into my shell-like ear.

~ All we’d need is a Twitter GIF of that!

~ Not to worry – I’ll just roll my eyes.

~ Well – Frau Angie – why don’t we form an Anchluss?

~ I think you mean an alliance, Herr Donald.

~ I’ll leave the technicalities to you.

~ And we’d already have an alliance, Der Donald, if you behaved yourself.

~ Did you just say “dear”?

~ Not in this lifetime.

~ Just checking, Angie.

~ Nor the one after.

~ The ladies like a bit of power – if you get my drift.

~ Hell would first freeze over.

~ I’m thinking you might accomplish that, Frau Reich Chancellor.

[image] https://news.immitate.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/angela-merkel-looks-confused-after-being-asked-if-trump-charmed-her-business-insider-business-insider.jpg

Trump & SCOTUS Walk Into A Bar

panorama_of_united_states_supreme_court_building_at_dusk

~ You are being scurrilous, Mr. President.

~ What?

~ Insulting.

~ After what you Marble Palace bastards did to me?

~ Not us.

~ Then who?

~ The US.

~ What?

~ The Law, Mr. President. Of the Land.

~ I put some of you bastards in place.

~ But you can’t put the Law in its place.

~ I’m POTUS. I’m above the law.

~ Not above. Or below. Or equal.

~ I’ve got Power.

~ Not before the Law.

~ I’m the Leader. Elected by the people.

~ Before the Law, you are but E Pluribus Unum.

~ What does that mean?

~ You don’t know?

~ Why should I?

~ It’s on all the money.

Kafka And Trump Walk Into A Bar

kafka-for-president

 

{I wrote this after Donald Trump was elected President of The United States of America.  He is still in place.

Today an article popped into my news stream entitled : “Trump Has Franz Kafka Spinning His Grave”. You can find it here: https://www.laprogressive.com/trump-has-franz-kafka-spinning/

So, in honour of Kafka (and I have visited his grave), I’ll play it again, Donnie.}

““““““““““`

~ Frank. Welcome to your world.

~ Thanks, DT. I’ve been living it all my life.

~ I’ve taken some pages out of your books, Frank.

~ I did try to get them burned.

~ You didn’t try too hard.

~ Well – no.

~ You know – neither did I.

~ I know. They all ran to your tune.

~ They did.

~ You were the Pied Piper of Havoc.

~ Worked like a charm, Frank.

~ Yes, DT – yes, it did.

~ They thought I was a bug.

~ Yes.

~ But I turned them into bugs.

~That you did, DT. And turned them against each other.

~ Yes.

~ And stood back, and watched.

~ Pretty well.

~ To the victor goes the spoils.

~ I was astounded – believe me.

~ And they keep making the same mistakes.

~ I know, Frank. I’d laugh if it wasn’t so funny.

~ The one-eyed man is King in the land of the Blind.

~ Yes, Frank – yes. But you know what?

~ What?

~ I’ve got great vision in both eyes.

Trump & COVID19 Walk Into A Bar In Tulsa, Oklahoma

5999878_031020-wpvi-coronavirus-generic-from-broadcast-open-img
~ Oh – my God – Mr. President. Thank You!

~ I take credit for everything.

~ Thank you. Thank You!

~ You’re welcome.

~ Let me shake your hand.

~ Of course.

~ I suppose a hug is too much?

~ Not at all.

~ Oh. Oh. You are Death’s dream.

~ Any chance you can take out Biden?

~ Oh, I am but a foot soldier. Anyway – he wears a mask.

~ Coward.

~ I love it when you talk like that.

~ He’s keeping his distance.

~ But you don’t.

~ I got guards. No one will get closer than six feet.

~ Of course.

~ I like that – six feet.

~ Why?

~ That’s how deep they bury you. Ground Zero.

~ But aren’t you worried about your followers?

~ Why?

~ Well – you’ll lose their votes.

~ Nah – that doesn’t matter.

~ But you’ll need every vote.

~ Oh, we just get them from the graveyard, too.

So Tired of Trump Turning Tricks

trump-bible
 
 
POTUS
President of the
United States
(of America)
Has attached himself
(Like a parasite)
To the
Dragon’s Tail
Of Hate
(of America)
And rides it
For all it is worth.
 
POTUS
Panders
To the worst,
The hateful,
The haters,
Full of envy.
Miserable offenders –
All.
 
POTUS
Turns tricks
Of deceit and
Misdirection.
Stirs a pot
That bubbles over.
 
Toil and trouble.
 
POTUS
Gives lap dances,
So the envious
Will
Lap it up
And
VOTE
For more.

The Commander – in – Chief

The Commander – in – Chief decided that it would be a grand day to become Admiral of the Fleet – Lord High Admiral if he chose the hat with cockade and plume.

Nodding jauntily in the air, the plume put on an impressive display, as he either agreed, or disapproved, with a toss, or a shake, of his head. The dancing ostrich feathers would add a dashing air as he boarded his flagship and, with just the right mixture of stringent authority and well- tempered geniality, moved in imperious sweeps among the ranks of ratings on the aft deck.

He would, of course, be extra careful about the pitfalls awaiting a man with ornate dress sword and scabbard, among the steep steps and narrow companionways.

*******

Wednesday was khaki day for the  Commander – in – Chief.

It was the day set aside to remind him of the loyalty he must always retain from his men, for what was a leader without his troops? And as a treat – for really, the dull brown did not make for a very striking appearance – the would chose the tank commander’s uniform.

With its wide web belt and shiny black holster on the hip, flap unsnapped to reveal the butt of a wicked forty-five. And of course the black leather gloves, as befits a man at the controls of so much power, and the steel helmet polished to a mirror-shine.

The riding crop? Ah, the riding crop was debatable.

*****

Today there would be a parade. Massed men at attention with stiffly held rifles and fixed bayonets.

The Commander – in – Chief would have to chose carefully to represent his awesome power and responsibility. Cavalry boots are a must, raising half-way up the calf and resounding with silver spurs, steel-tipped toes and heels.

Then would come crisp black trousers, billowing majestically around the thighs, and kept up with a wide leather belt. He took care that each red stripe reaching the length of each leg was as straight as an arrow.

His blue tunic, he decided, would have only muted decorations and the minimum of gold braid entwined about his shoulders. He was – after all – a fighting general.
A civic reception is the time when the Commander – in – Chief would be on close display.

He believes he is at his most effective  when draped completely in white, save – of course – for his highly polished black dress shoes (and, in truth, he favoured white even here, but feared such footwear was a trifle effeminate). White is striking by itself, but well he knew it made the perfect background for his medals and decorations.

He has trouble deciding upon which color sash to wear across his chest, but finally chooses the emerald green – the reception is in the public gardens. He dons his silver-visored cap, and graces his bosom with the blue Clustered Palm of Valour; the diamond centred Star of Courage; the gold Pyramid of the Oaken Grove; and seven rows of bars and campaign medals.

 There are no visiting Heads of State, so he need not be too brilliant.

Trump And Death Walk Into A Bar

death-on-pale-horse-viktor-vasnetsov-248x350-1
~ Donald, you’re making my work easier.
 
~ It’s good for the economy.
 
~ Oh, I do love money. It’s great fuel for my business.
 
~ What’s good for business is good for the country. Believe me!
 
~ Oh, Donald – I believe everything you say.
 
~ You do?
 
~ Yes.  Death be not proud.
 
~ Aren’t you supposed to be on a horse?
 
~ Pestilence rode on ahead, and the other two went with him.
 
~ Scary guys. Very spooky.
 
~ Pestilence is preparing the way.
 
~ Ah, it isn’t that bad.
 
~ You know better, Donald.
 
~ Yeh. But I am a bit worried.
 
~ Why?
 
~ What if you guys kill off too many of the dupes who voted for me?
 
~ You’re afraid to lose the election?
 
~ Nah – that part is a bore. A snoozer.
 
~ Then what?
 
~ Buddy can’t buy my shit if he’s dead.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑