In Kafka In The Castle, I fill in the ‘missing’ diary entries from Kafka’s real diary. He either did not fill in these days himself, or he destroyed them. There are some estimates that Kafka destroyed 70% – 80% of everything he wrote.
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30 May 1918
If wishes were horses; K, The Herr Doktor of Laws, and Frankie – perhaps, most of all, poor Frankie – would mount and ride toward the mountains, toward the sea, toward that place where we would not be we.
The image in the mirror is my hero.
Who can blame me?
Were it not for his outstanding modesty
which leads the list of attributes,
I would first say it is his erudite demeanour,
and suave sophistication,
which make the most impression.
A stellar raconteur and bon vivant,
he sweeps others in his path,
where they are happy to follow.
Genius is a word too oft tossed about,
but it is a pale word to describe
the breadth,
and depth,
of his knowledge and creativity.
The man in the mirror
pulsates with understanding,
and the ability to make connections
between the most diverse
(and sometimes divergent)
of ideas.
His observations are a breath of fresh air in the firmament.
I have learned so much
from the man in the mirror,
and desire so
to bask in his consummate revelations
of life and art,
that I strive to be in his presence.
My ears ache to hear the pearls of wisdom he is oft to toss.
To be in the same room with him is life itself.
The man in the mirror is indeed a hero to emulate.
How many of us can say that about anyone?
~ DE BA.UE
“Out, out – out of my way!
“Don’t touch me at all, but do as I say.
“A brush on the arm can cause me harm, when it’s the Brush of Death I’m awaiting.
“Don’t breathe.
“Don’t dare breathe near me.
“Your air – from inside you – coming out at me. How very, very horrible.
“It now has pieces of you, and it will corrupt.
“No, don’t listen to me.
“Stop up your ears and turn away.
“They’re my words and my thought – not to be sold and not to be bought. Out of my mouth from between my teeth.
“Don’t you know how personal that is?
“Allow me, allow me.
“I’ll open the door.
“I’ll let you enter.
“Demand what you want – don’t be afraid to ask. Make them fill your request. I come here for bread, and I come here for cake. You can trust me. Would I lie? They don’t mind me, they’re used to my song. It’s entertainment, you see, and it’s free.
“Chew them up, enjoy them – those muffins look good. I’m a madman in a bakery, and I know how to eat.”
DE
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