“Out, out – out of my way!
“Don’t touch me at all, but do as I say.
“A brush on the arm can cause me harm, when it’s the Brush of Death I’m awaiting.
“Don’t dare breathe near me.
“Your air – from inside you – coming out at me. How very, very horrible.
“It now has pieces of you, and it will corrupt.
“No, don’t listen to me.
“Stop up your ears and turn away.
“They’re my words and my thought – not to be sold and not to be bought. Out of my mouth from between my teeth.
“Don’t you know how personal that is?
“Allow me, allow me.
“I’ll open the door.
“I’ll let you enter.
“Demand what you want – don’t be afraid to ask. Make them fill your request. I come here for bread, and I come here for cake. You can trust me. Would I lie? They don’t mind me, they’re used to my song. It’s entertainment, you see, and it’s free.
“Chew them up, enjoy them – those muffins look good. I’m a madman in a bakery, and I know how to eat.”
I owe my life to Hitler, though I never met the man. My father was paid to stop Hitler, so there is no conflict of interest. I was given a thunk on the back o' the head by God when I was fifteen, and within a week began to write. I haven't stopped. My first novel was accepted 'over the transom'. My first editor/author luncheon in New York included a naked man with roller skates at the next table. For the sake of research I have lain on Kafka's grave, but I did not weep. I wish upon my own gravestone the phrase "Thank God He Didn't Die A Virgin". There is truth in every truth - so watch out.
My published novels include the popular fantasy A Lost Tale and the thriller The Bonner Deception. I also have two editions of humorous and spiritual short stories, The Elephant Talks to God, which are appreciated by both young and old.
My manuscripts range from stories about unicorns and druids in the 'Passing Through Trilogy' to the 9/11 destruction of New York. I have filled in the missing diaries of Franz Kafka; recounted the first person dementia of a serial killer; explored the outrageous lifestyle of the famous; and listened in while an elephant and God converse. I currently switch my attention between the saga of a family of onion farmers, from Fourth century Italy to the present day, and a contemporary NATO thriller.
I live in Canada and make Nova Scotia my home.
I prefer to travel by train, but embrace the computer age with passion. I am always on the hunt for unique onion recipes.
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