love

Kafka Has A Dream And Then Ponders His Life

In Kafka In The Castle, I fill in the ‘missing’ diary entries from Kafka’s real diary. He either did not fill in these days himself, or he destroyed them. There are some estimates that Kafka destroyed 70% – 80% of everything he wrote.
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15 January 1917

Dreamed that I never dream.

“That can’t be true,” said AB, dropping the papers she held. “Everybody dreams.”

“It never happens to me,” I insisted. “And what’s more, I don’t really believe that anyone else dreams, either.”

“Of course people dream,” said AB, dropping bunches and pots of flowers on the floor. “I dream all the time. I’m full of dreams every night.”

“Even tonight?” I asked, excited, because I had some power, some type of knowledge, although I didn’t know what it was. “Tonight,” she repeated. “Especially tonight,” she said, dropping bowls of snow on the floor. “It is right now, right here.” Her voice was also full of excitement. “I am dreaming about you.”

“Me?” I said. “You can’t be dreaming about me. I’m right here – I’m not in your dream.”

“Not only are you in my dream,” she said, dropping automobiles and tram cars on the floor, “but you’re talking in your usual obstinate way. You’re cross, and you’re silly, and you’re shaking your hands at me.”

“I’m doing no such thing,” I said, wringing my hands and starting to yell.

“You’ve taken your absurd thoughts,” she said, dropping pieces of Prague on the floor, “and you’re forcing me to be part of them.”

“Even if it’s true – all true,” I said, trying to sweep Prague into the river, “it still isn’t me. You’re the one having the dream.”

AB snatched the broom out of my hand, and dropped it to the floor. “Then try to wake me,” she said.

16 January 1917

I have the feeling, that what I really am doing at the office, is committing suicide. And doing a good job.

01/16/2026 0

A Valentine’s Day Feast Awaits Sister Darling On Partridge Island

Sister Darling, of

The Rarified Church of the World (reformed),

Steps upon the dock of the Partridge Island Lighthouse.

My humble self (the Lighthouse keeper) awaits her,

As does Paw, the cat/kitten,

Black as Liquorice candy

With one white mitten.

I pondered tying a red riband

Around his neck, in celebration

Of the day.

But our cat/kitten is not as young

As he used to be,

And took umbrage at my attempt.

Still, he is young enough

– And spry enough –

And has memories enough,

To jump upon Sister Darling’s shoulder

And nestle in her hair.

And thus, we three climbed our way

To my Lighthouse Keepers house.

I have prepared a most wonderous fish stew,

Bubbling on the hob

(It even has lobster),

And, I have baked a pan of biscuits,

For her edification.

Sister Darling presents me with

A red envelope, wherein resides

(If I don’t miss my guess)

An embossed card to celebrate the day.

But,

Before I can open it,

She shoos Paw from her locks,

Opens wide her winter cloak,

And

“Oh, My!”

Our repast is threatened

To be delayed.

{I’m The Lighthouse Poet Laureate of Partridge Island /1821 – 2025 / A lot of stuff have I seen / A lot of stuff to report}

02/14/2025 0

If Kafka Had Not Retreated From Love

In Kafka In The Castle, I fill in the ‘missing’ diary entries from Kafka’s real diary. He either did not fill in these days himself, or he destroyed them. There are some estimates that Kafka destroyed 70% – 80% of everything he wrote.

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05 June 1917

Had I not retreated, I would have given up myself. This is what is expected from love. My thoughts and emotions would be continually extracted. I have no way to replenish them, so I would eventually be hollowed out. And I would collapse.

06/05/2024 0

Kafka In Love (From “Kafka In The Castle”)

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04 June 1917

Sometimes – with F – a kiss could make me feel l was becoming part of her.

And she into me.

I retreated.

06/04/2024 0

Letter To Kafka, Soon One Hundred Years Dead

Dear F:

I have found your reality is actually real.

Although it will give you no pleasure – well, ‘little’ pleasure – you are correct in all your observations.

1. Governments become the tools of the bureaucracies which run them. It doesn’t matter what type of Government, from the monarchy under which you lived, to the right wing horror of fascists that called themselves socialists, to the inept socialism pretending to be ‘for the people’. All three governments held sway over the city where you spent your life. All three oppressed the people they ruled. All three looked after themselves first.

2. Writers are either writers or they aren’t. The urge to write encircles one like a snake around its prey. Feed it and it won’t quite squeeze you to death. You can not ignore it – even at your peril. It is with you every hour of every day, ever inquisitive and (sadly) always looking for something better.

3. Love is a see-saw of extremes. Every high guarantees a low. Every low reaches for a high. Every high reaches for a high. When these hills and valleys are eventually levelled, they are still desired.

4. Sex is highly overrated. The thing of it is, even rated fairly ” ’tis a consummation devoutly to be had”. Yes – I know – you appreciate Shakespeare. On a par with Goethe, even if you can’t bring yourself to say the words.

5. There is no Castle with walls thick enough to hide against the perils of being human. Which is why you never tried.

6. Except the grave, of course.

7. Except the grave.

Yours,

05/26/2024 0

A Feast (Oh, Such A Feast) For Saint Patrick’s Day

I almost dropped Paw, my cat/kitten,

Black as blood pudding

With one white mitten,

When Sister Darling, of

The Rarefied Church of the World (Reformed),

Stepped onto the dock

Of the Partridge Island Lighthouse.

She wore an emerald green gown

On this Saint Patrick’s Day,

Which fit her form

In a very alluring fashion.

She was bringing

A feast for myself, and Paw.

A hamper filled with (I sniffed it out)

Colcannon

Shepherd’s Pie

Corned Beef

Black-and-Tan Pork

Lime Poke Cake

And the clink of bottles

promising many Half and Halfs

which she knows how to pour

to perfection.

We exchanged hamper and cat.

Paw went directly to burrow

Into her long hair,

Which I, myself, will do

When the time for slumber

Arrives.

Then we began our walk

Up to The Lighthouse Keeper’s House,

Which I have festooned with

As many green doodads as

I could find.

I’m The Lighthouse Poet Laureate of Partridge Island /1821 – 2024 / A lot of stuff have I seen / A lot of stuff to report}

DE BA. UEL

03/17/2024 0

The New Year Prods Kafka To Think Of His Youth

03 January 1917

I still have fantasies about the Swiss girl – although not the type one might suppose.

(My father says I already have too many fantasies, and that I deal with them “too long, and too often” – he is certainly right.)

I make a mixture of what I shared with the Swiss girl, and what I imagine we would be like today. This is certainly more fantasy than not, for what would being together have done to us? Done to her?

But, in this tiny house – could she not join me?

Be here by the window, as I write this?

But she was so young, and such a girl, where I fear that I was never such a boy.

01/03/2024 0

A Feast Nor’ By Nor’west To Satisfy Partridge Island

Yesterday, a departing fishing boat
Left a letter on my dock,
At Partridge Island.
The letter told me to be standing here,
On this beach, looking toward shore
At exactly 2:30.
And to bring my telescope.
Which I have done.
Dutiful as I am.
And . . .

Well . . .
I’m sure glad there is no fog.
After opening my telescope
And putting it to my eye,
And focusing,
I spy
With my little eye,
Sister Darling of the
Rarefied Church of the World (reformed)
Wearing a long cloak
To her ankles.
And, upon opening it,
Revealing that she
Had decided
To wear nothing else.
Oh! Hallelujah! Yes!

{I’m The Lighthouse Poet Laureate of Partridge Island /1821 – 2023 / A lot of stuff have I seen / A lot of stuff to report}

DE BA. UEL

08/10/2023 0

It’s Saint Patrick’s Day On Partridge Island And Sister Darling Brings Stew

Paw, my cat/kitten,

Black as the Ides of March

With one white mitten,

Has a green ribbon

Tied around his neck,

As we stand on the dock

And welcome the arrival of Sister Darling,

Of The Rarefied Church of the World (reformed)

On this Saint Patrick’s Day,

She steps off the fishing boat,

And unceremoniously hands me

A hefty cauldron,

As she scoops up Paw

And holds him close, the way

(I trust)

She will eventually hold me.

“Irish stew,” says she.

But I didn’t even have to guess,

For I can recite, by smell,

The ingredients.

Lamb on the bone

Carrots/celery

onions/leeks/garlic

Bay leaf/sea salt/black pepper

Lots of potatoes

And two (I hope) pints of ale.

“You are right,” she says

As Paw snuggles into her hair,

“And you will get

A Reward.”

I’m The Lighthouse Poet Laureate of Partridge Island /1821 – 2023 / A lot of stuff have I seen / A lot of stuff to report}

DE BA. UEL

03/17/2023 0

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