So it has come to this.
A mindless voice with mindless tune singing softly in the dark.
My friend, I promise you that on such a night even the sages are locked babbling in their rooms.
You think me mad?
“Well, my boyze.” (I talk in my best W.C. Fields voice).
“Well, my boyze. I had a hen who could lay a Golden Calf.
“And this weird guy – Moses was his name – yass, this Mozaz threw these stone tablets – threw, I say – these stone tablets on my hen, and killed her.
“And I asked him – I said to him – Mozaz, why did you flatten my hen and make the feathers fly?
“And he said to me (can you believe this) – he said to me: `W. C., I was damn hungry.’
“And then I knew,
“My little chickadee,
“My little bottom-soft dumpling,
“I knew from that moment,
“The man was not sincere.”
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I owe my life to Hitler, though I never met the man. My father was paid to stop Hitler, so there is no conflict of interest. I was given a thunk on the back o' the head by God when I was fifteen, and within a week began to write. I haven't stopped. My first novel was accepted 'over the transom'. My first editor/author luncheon in New York included a naked man with roller skates at the next table. For the sake of research I have lain on Kafka's grave, but I did not weep. I wish upon my own gravestone the phrase "Thank God He Didn't Die A Virgin". There is truth in every truth - so watch out.
My published novels include the popular fantasy A Lost Tale and the thriller The Bonner Deception. I also have two editions of humorous and spiritual short stories, The Elephant Talks to God, which are appreciated by both young and old.
My manuscripts range from stories about unicorns and druids in the 'Passing Through Trilogy' to the 9/11 destruction of New York. I have filled in the missing diaries of Franz Kafka; recounted the first person dementia of a serial killer; explored the outrageous lifestyle of the famous; and listened in while an elephant and God converse. I currently switch my attention between the saga of a family of onion farmers, from Fourth century Italy to the present day, and a contemporary NATO thriller.
I live in Canada and make Nova Scotia my home.
I prefer to travel by train, but embrace the computer age with passion. I am always on the hunt for unique onion recipes.
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