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satire

Trump & SCOTUS Walk Into A Bar

panorama_of_united_states_supreme_court_building_at_dusk

~ You are being scurrilous, Mr. President.

~ What?

~ Insulting.

~ After what you Marble Palace bastards did to me?

~ Not us.

~ Then who?

~ The US.

~ What?

~ The Law, Mr. President. Of the Land.

~ I put some of you bastards in place.

~ But you can’t put the Law in its place.

~ I’m POTUS. I’m above the law.

~ Not above. Or below. Or equal.

~ I’ve got Power.

~ Not before the Law.

~ I’m the Leader. Elected by the people.

~ Before the Law, you are but E Pluribus Unum.

~ What does that mean?

~ You don’t know?

~ Why should I?

~ It’s on all the money.

Kafka And Trump Walk Into A Bar

kafka-for-president

 

{I wrote this after Donald Trump was elected President of The United States of America.  He is still in place.

Today an article popped into my news stream entitled : “Trump Has Franz Kafka Spinning His Grave”. You can find it here: https://www.laprogressive.com/trump-has-franz-kafka-spinning/

So, in honour of Kafka (and I have visited his grave), I’ll play it again, Donnie.}

““““““““““`

~ Frank. Welcome to your world.

~ Thanks, DT. I’ve been living it all my life.

~ I’ve taken some pages out of your books, Frank.

~ I did try to get them burned.

~ You didn’t try too hard.

~ Well – no.

~ You know – neither did I.

~ I know. They all ran to your tune.

~ They did.

~ You were the Pied Piper of Havoc.

~ Worked like a charm, Frank.

~ Yes, DT – yes, it did.

~ They thought I was a bug.

~ Yes.

~ But I turned them into bugs.

~That you did, DT. And turned them against each other.

~ Yes.

~ And stood back, and watched.

~ Pretty well.

~ To the victor goes the spoils.

~ I was astounded – believe me.

~ And they keep making the same mistakes.

~ I know, Frank. I’d laugh if it wasn’t so funny.

~ The one-eyed man is King in the land of the Blind.

~ Yes, Frank – yes. But you know what?

~ What?

~ I’ve got great vision in both eyes.

Trump & COVID19 Walk Into A Bar In Tulsa, Oklahoma

5999878_031020-wpvi-coronavirus-generic-from-broadcast-open-img
~ Oh – my God – Mr. President. Thank You!

~ I take credit for everything.

~ Thank you. Thank You!

~ You’re welcome.

~ Let me shake your hand.

~ Of course.

~ I suppose a hug is too much?

~ Not at all.

~ Oh. Oh. You are Death’s dream.

~ Any chance you can take out Biden?

~ Oh, I am but a foot soldier. Anyway – he wears a mask.

~ Coward.

~ I love it when you talk like that.

~ He’s keeping his distance.

~ But you don’t.

~ I got guards. No one will get closer than six feet.

~ Of course.

~ I like that – six feet.

~ Why?

~ That’s how deep they bury you. Ground Zero.

~ But aren’t you worried about your followers?

~ Why?

~ Well – you’ll lose their votes.

~ Nah – that doesn’t matter.

~ But you’ll need every vote.

~ Oh, we just get them from the graveyard, too.

Trump And Death Walk Into A Bar

death-on-pale-horse-viktor-vasnetsov-248x350-1
~ Donald, you’re making my work easier.
 
~ It’s good for the economy.
 
~ Oh, I do love money. It’s great fuel for my business.
 
~ What’s good for business is good for the country. Believe me!
 
~ Oh, Donald – I believe everything you say.
 
~ You do?
 
~ Yes.  Death be not proud.
 
~ Aren’t you supposed to be on a horse?
 
~ Pestilence rode on ahead, and the other two went with him.
 
~ Scary guys. Very spooky.
 
~ Pestilence is preparing the way.
 
~ Ah, it isn’t that bad.
 
~ You know better, Donald.
 
~ Yeh. But I am a bit worried.
 
~ Why?
 
~ What if you guys kill off too many of the dupes who voted for me?
 
~ You’re afraid to lose the election?
 
~ Nah – that part is a bore. A snoozer.
 
~ Then what?
 
~ Buddy can’t buy my shit if he’s dead.

Trump And Jesus Again Walk Into A Bar

 

pale-horse-revelation-deathI don’t know the cause, but this blog from last year is getting a lot of views. Perhaps The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are on the move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~ Was it in vain?

~ What?

~ That you took My name.

~ They crucify me like there’s no tomorrow.

~ There is no tomorrow.

~That’s OK for You to say.

~ I know.

~ But, down here, I don’t get a break.

~ Don’t you think there’s a reason for that?

~ You mean because they don’t understand me?

~ Perhaps more because they do.

~ Hey, I’m looking after Your country.

~ You have other sheep to tend to.

~ But I’m King of the World.

~ You have a big fall in front of you.

~ Oh, I’m protected. I have  more money than God(haha).

~ The eye of the needle is narrow indeed.

~ I’m no fool. I’ll get off and walk.

~ There is no one other to walk in your shoes.

~ You know, we even look alike.

[Image] https://www.ucg.org/files/styles/full_grid9/public/image/article/2004/07/01/pale-horse-revelation-death.jpg

#Twitter & #Trump Have A Tête-à-tête

e0d229e9b9400775b67b573c79a81a21

~ U know, Donnie – U might have been headed to the Dumpster.

 

~ I’ll be here awhile – believe me.

~ Believe U?

 

~ Of course.

~@RealDonaldTrump – it’s me & U.

 

~ Oh, yes. I luvs ya, #Twitter.

~ I’ve read all that you tweet.

 

~ Lucky U. & THANKS for letting me use more words.

 

~ U like that?

 

~ I’ll tell you something about politicians.

 

~ Yes?

 

~ They love using a lot of words.

 

~ Yeh.

 

~ And so do I.

 

~ Politicians use a swamp of words.

~ & it’s my SWAMP now.

 

~ There’s no way of bombing it?

 

~ Not when I’m living there, & loving it HUGHLY.

 

~ Donnie – U have less than a year.

 

~Not to worry – they tried IMPEACHING my ass.

 

~ Wasn’t that the fake news?

 

~ And the real NEWS, too. Sons Of Bitches.

 

~U think the Senate is still your friend, Donnie?

 

~ I’ve got their short & curlies in my hands.

 

 

~ So it seems.

 

~ Gotta great grip. And I’m pulling hard.

 

[image] https: //www.dailydot.com/wp-content/uploads/f56/8b/e0d229e9b9400775b67b573c79a81a21.jpg

Trump And Putin Walk Into A Bar And Discuss The Future

 

FILE PHOTO: U.S. President Donald Trump and Russia's President Vladimir Putin talk during the family photo session at the APEC Summit in Danang

~ How much vodka did you have, Vlad?
 
~ Why do you ask, Donnie?
 
~ ‘Cause you’re reaching kinda far – even for you.
 
~ What do you mean, Donnie?
 
~ Asking your fellow Ruskies to keep you in power for life.
 
~ Are you jealous, Donnie?
 
~ Well, I have God on my side, and I haven’t taken that step.
 
~ Yet.
 
~ Nyet.
 
~ You’re a funny little president, Donnie.
 
~  Gotta keep the deplorables laughing.
 
~ So far – so good. Isn’t that right, Donnie?
 
~ Yes.
 
~ So, how can I help you?
 
~ I’d like some pointers.
 
~ I’m preparing for 2024, Donnie.
 
~ I know.
 
~ Well, you’re starting too late.

Gimme That Old Time Religion & Eschew Born Again Christians

facebook-give-me-that-old-time-religion-5d295f

So it has come to this.

A mindless voice with mindless tune singing softly in the dark.

My friend, I promise you,  on such a night even the sages are locked babbling in their rooms.

You think me mad?

“Well, my boyze.” (I talk in my best W.C. Fields voice).

“Well, my boyze. I had a hen who could lay a Golden Calf. And this weird guy – Moses was his name – yass. This Mo-zaz threw these stone tablets – threw, I say – these stone tablets on my hen, and killed her.

Feathers everywhere.

And I asked him – I said to him – hey, Mo-zaz, why did you flatten my hen and make the feathers fly?

And he said to me – can you believe this – he said to me:

‘W. C., I was damn hungry.’

And I knew –  my little chickadee, my little bottom-soft dumpling –   I knew from that moment, that the man was not sincere.”

[mage]  https://pics.me.me/Facebook-Give-me-that-old-time-religion-5d295f.png

Trump And Kafka (and the silent President of Finland)Walk Into A Bar

franz-kafka-for-president
{I wrote this after Donald Trump was elected President of The United States of America. Many folk also looked at it after the glorious meeting in  Helsinki with Putin, Tzar of ALL The Russias. Now, the benighted President of Finland is in Washington, and shares a bizarre Press Conference with President Trump. A Kafkaesque Press Conference, one might say. So – play it again, Franz.} 
~ Frank. Welcome to your world.

~ Thanks, DT. I’ve been living it all my life.

~ I’ve taken some pages out of your books, Frank.

~ I did try to get them burned.

~ You didn’t try too hard.

~ Well – no.

~ You know – neither did I.

~ I know. They all ran to your tune.

~ They did.

~ You were the Pied Piper of Havoc.

~  Worked like a charm, Frank.

~ Yes, DT – yes, it did.

~ They thought I was a bug.

~ Yes.

~ But I turned them into bugs.

~That you did, DT. And turned them against each other.

~ Yes.

~ And stood back, and watched.

~ Pretty well.

~ To the victor goes the spoils.

~ I was astounded – believe me.

~ And they keep making the same mistakes.

~ I know, Frank.  I’d laugh if it wasn’t so funny.

~ The one-eyed man is King in the land of the Blind.

~ Yes, Frank – yes. But you know what?

~  What?

~ I’ve got great vision in both eyes.

[Image] https://sanatkaravani.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/franz-kafka-for-president.png

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