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#Trump And #Merkel Walk Into A Bar In Hamburg

trump-merkel

~ You are not quite the tuff bad boy I expected, Herr Donald.

~  Maybe not – but your stiff starchiness is evident, Frau Reich Chancellor.

~ One must keep you and the Tzar of all the Russias in their place.

~ Nothing is going to keep Vlad in his corner of his empire.

~ True.

~ Unless . . .

~ Speak it up, Herr Donald.

~ I dunno – you never know who is listening these days.

~ I think we’re safe – the Tzar is on his way home.

~ But “home” is the operative word, Angie.

~ Then you had best whisper into my shell-like ear.

~ All we’d need is a Twitter GIF of that!

~ Not to worry – I’ll just roll my eyes.

~ Well – Frau Angie – why don’t we form an Anchluss?

~ I think you mean an alliance, Herr Donald.

~ I’ll leave the technicalities to you.

~ And we’d already have an alliance, Der Donald, if you behaved yourself.

~ Did you just say “dear”?

~ Not in this lifetime.

~ Just checking, Angie.

~ Nor the one after.

~ The ladies like a bit of power – if you get my drift.

~ Hell would first freeze over.

~ I’m thinking you might accomplish that, Frau Reich Chancellor.

DE

(image)s.newsweek.com/sites/www.newsweek.com/files/styles/embed-lg/public/2017/07/07/trump-merkel.JPG

#Trump And #Putin Walk Into A Bar In Hamburg

merkel-putin-trump-e1496721139940

~ At least you do not offer me poison, Donald.

~ And you kindly offer me nothing, Vladimir.

~ I was taken aback when I learned you don’t drink.

~ Lips that touch liquor is the only way it touches me.

~ Still – Don – what is the point of getting through the day?

~ What do you mean?

~ If you never feel any better from beginning to end.

~ There are other ways – believe me.

~ Nothing as good as vodka – and I’ll drink to that.

~ Gotta admit, Vlad – there is one thing to tempt me to that bottle.

~ What?

~ Reich Chancellor Angela Dorothea Merkel.

~ Oy Vey!

~ “Amen” to that, Vlad.

~ That is one bitch in britches.

~ Freeze the balls right off you and use them for hockey pucks.

~ She gave me such a look.

~ Her handshake had the touch of death.

~ She has done one thing though, Don.

~ What, Vlad?

~ She has made comrades out of us, Comrade.

DE

(image)http://www.google.ca/search?q=Putin+%2B+Trump+%2B+Merkel&client=gmail&rls=aso&authuser=1&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj16ZHF6_fUAhUDcT4KHS0sD68Q_AUICCgD&biw=1366&bih=659#imgrc=7UWKn7dAWUaI3M:

Trump And #Covfefe Walk Into A Bar

covfefe_tweet_e7606ca3feccb5943b69b8dd8c93a84f-nbcnews-ux-2880-1000
~ Well, I dunno, TheDonald.

~ What?

~ You’ve kinda started rodeo-riding the shark.

~ “Ye-Haw”

~ This might be the effin’ #covfefe end.

~ Or maybe the beginning – believe me!

~ How do you figure that, U li’l #covfefe lover, you?

~ You know the little man behind the curtain?

~ From the #covfefe Wizard of Oz?

~ Marvellous movie. Fantastic movie.

~ Yes

~ Love those red shoes.

~ But what –

~ Click them together.

~ What does that –

~ Goes with the tie.

~ What has that got to do with #covfefe?

~ “Somewhere, Over The Rainbow” I sing along.

~ #covfefe FOCUS POTUS #covfefe

~ What do you do with the man behind the curtain?

~ Pay no attention to him.

~ But everybody does.

~ Yeh

~ They all look at him.

~ Yeh

~ Gawk gawk gawk

~ #covfefe right

~ So you don’t really look behind him.

~ No.

~ Not supposed to.

~ No.

~ I’m behind the curtain behind him.

DE

Trump And Nixon Walk Into A Bar

~ Mr. President.

~ President Tricky.

~ You’re trying to replace me.

~ What?

~ In the affections of the American people.

~ Have you been drinking?

~ Fucking A about that. You are ruining my reputation.

~ I don’t even think about your reputation – believe me.

~ But you’re pulling a Nixon.

~ Not even close, Dick. May I call you Dick?

~ Sure, Donny. Is it true you don’t drink?

~ Not a drop.

~ Jesus – you do this stuff sober?

~ I’ve got the Will of the People and the Blessing of God.

~ God doesn’t give a shit.

~ I know that. And neither do the People.

~ They’ll take you down, Donny.

~ That was a big part of your problem, Dick.

~ What?

~ You cared what people thought of you.

~ They brought me down – the bastards.

~ Yeh – but you lived out your life OK.

~ Heh! I became an Elder Statesman.

~ And kept out of prison.

~ If I had sung, I would have brought down the whole corrupt Elite with me.

~ If I drank, I’d drink to that, Dick.

~ So, Donny, do you plan sticking around?

~ While I’m having fun – yeh.

DE
(image)i2.cdn.cnn.com/cnnnext/dam/assets/130109124807-21-nixon-horizontal-large-gallery.jpg

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