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Dale Estey

I owe my life to Hitler, though I never met the man. My father was paid to stop Hitler, so there is no conflict of interest. I was given a thunk on the back o' the head by God when I was fifteen, and within a week began to write. I haven't stopped. My first novel was accepted 'over the transom'. My first editor/author luncheon in New York included a naked man with roller skates at the next table. For the sake of research I have lain on Kafka's grave, but I did not weep. I wish upon my own gravestone the phrase "Thank God He Didn't Die A Virgin". There is truth in every truth - so watch out. My published novels include the popular fantasy A Lost Tale and the thriller The Bonner Deception. I also have two editions of humorous and spiritual short stories, The Elephant Talks to God, which are appreciated by both young and old. My manuscripts range from stories about unicorns and druids in the 'Passing Through Trilogy' to the 9/11 destruction of New York. I have filled in the missing diaries of Franz Kafka; recounted the first person dementia of a serial killer; explored the outrageous lifestyle of the famous; and listened in while an elephant and God converse. I currently switch my attention between the saga of a family of onion farmers, from Fourth century Italy to the present day, and a contemporary NATO thriller. I live in Canada and make Nova Scotia my home. I prefer to travel by train, but embrace the computer age with passion. I am always on the hunt for unique onion recipes.

The Dead At Sea Are Not Happy Ghosts For Halloween (It’s just around the corner)

I can see my hand

In the fog,

And

The building,

Across the street.

That is about all.

So, I know

The ghosts,

Are not

As close

As they sound.

The Ghosts sound like Fog Horns

And that’s what folk

Up

And down

The coast

Say

That they are.

Fog Horns.

But – they aren’t.

They are ghosts that moan,

And wail,

And cough,

And even

Sputter,

On the wind,

In the fog,

Where they can hide

Out in the open.

It is true that they do moan

For ships.

That they do give warnings

In the fog,

Where they can not

Be seen,

Because they look

Like fog.

They give warnings

Because

They have all come

From ships,

Where once they lived.

But now they don’t.

They went down with ships

At sea

And

Along the coast

To their

Cold and wet

Death.

Days ago

Years ago

Centuries ago.

To be buried at sea

Is not

To be buried

At all.

~ D.E. BA U.E.

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Circles Within & Circles Without Are The Answers To All The Questions

Perhaps it is circular, but this observation, from an admittedly unreliable observer in one of my short stories, has been continuously popular over the last few years. It has even surpassed interest in Kafka. Wot the Franz?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Circles are the answer.

“Just look at any circle and you’ll see what I mean. Of course, no one else is to know about the circles. They must be very stupid if they can’t see something so obvious.

“Yet, you get hints, don’t you – all the time out there. And in your own life – the way things happen so you never get anywhere. Never change.

“The earth, of course, and the sun – well, that’s something you can see. Either way you look at it, the one goes around the other in a big circle that takes in the whole sky. And the earth and the sun and the moon are round  – all circles in their own right. So you have circles which are going around in circles, if you get my meaning.

“And if you look further – reach out into the universe as far as you can go – they tell us that everything is going around everything else. Smaller circles and elongated circles which take in such large distances that numbers become forgotten.

“Now, this means that everything, eventually, comes back upon itself. The beginning is really the end. That’s what most people would think – and that’s where they make their mistake.

“You see, things don’t start by beginning – they start by ending. It’s the end which comes first in a circle, so, instead of going back to where it started, it comes back to its end.

“That explains it.”

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Putin and Stalin Walk Into A Bar

~ Vlad, you murderous whore.

~ Josef, you cold, cruel killer.

~ Greetings and conquest be upon you.

~  My people are letting me down.

~ Oh – and a Happy Birthday!

~  You remembered.

~  Well, the way you’re going . . .

~  Yes?

~ It will be your last.

~ You think Ukraine can defeat me?

~ If it walks like a duck . . .

~  They are an army of pissants.

~  And quacks like a duck . . .

~  They survive on American guns.

~  And swims like a duck . . .

~  They were lucky to sink ships.

~  Vlad, listen to Uncle Joe.

~ Yes?

~  You are going to have to duck.

~ The Russian people will defend me.

~  Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin.

~ Yes?

~ Tzar Pretender!

~ Yes?

~ I know the Russian people.

~  Yes.

~ I slaughtered them by the millions.

~ Yes.

~ Enjoy your birthday – while you can.

DE  BA.  UEL

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Putin And Hitler Walk Into A Bar

~ Vlad . . . Vlad . . . You have learned nothing.

~ Adolf – the times are different.

~  Oh, Mein Gott – the times I said that.

~ I’ve learned from you, Adolf.

~ Vlad – you can’t even take the fucking Ukraine.

~ They will fold.

~ They’re kicking your Kremlin ass.

~ I will regroup and . . .

~ You’re losing men. You’re losing guns You’re losing tanks.

~ I have imposed conscription and  . . .

~Tanks!  When you’re losing tanks – you’re losing.

~ I’ve got missiles that are carving them to pieces.

~ You slaughter civilians but you are losing troops.

~ I am getting more.

~ Vlad! I ended up putting children in the trenches.

~ They are valiant fighters and . . .

~  Vlad! Even I didn’t believe my own bullshit.

~  I am the new Tzar! I will prevail!

~ Vlad. Winter is coming.

~ Cold and snow isn’t going to  . . .

~ Vlad. I know about winter.

~ You did not have my power.

~ Holy Vladivostok. You are going to lose your whole country.

DE BA. UEL

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The Hurricane Brings Peril To The Lighthouse And All Ships At Sea

Given enough warning

From ships along the coast

I got the Partridge Island Lighthouse

And Paw, my cat/kitten,

Black as the murderous clouds,

With one white mitten,

Ready for the worst.

And the Worst came.

It was so bad I figure

Even Jesus took cover.

The Lighthouse is thicker

And stronger

Then the Keeper’s house

So that’s where we stayed.

A tiny room inside the stone walls,

Nicely curved to curl the wind away.

I’d put in a narrow cot, and

Me and the cat/’kitten

Got our rest

Although not much sleep.

When I went up to

Trim the wick

I thought those windows might

Cave right in.

Today,

A couple of ships

Limped past,

And our shoreline

Has been altered.

I’m The Lighthouse Poet Laureate of Partridge Island /1821 – 2022 / A lot of stuff have I seen / A lot of stuff to report}

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“For God’s sake, let us sit upon the ground, And tell sad stories of the death of . . . queens”

I alter but one word from Shakespeare’s poem. I feel I’m allowed.

I concentrate upon the word “sad”. I feel sad about the death of Queen Elizabeth II. I note, that in newscasts, and on the internet, and from personal conversations, many folk feel “sad”. An unexpected sadness. A sadness that is greater than the loss of people close to them. They are surprised.

And so am I.

Today’s funeral took place on my birthday (by the Grace of God – I do not know) . So I’ll always be able to answer the question “Where were you when . . .”

I watched seven hours of the day from London and Windsor. I did not get tired. I could have watched more. But I am content – I won’t be delving very far into replays. The Queen’s removal from the earth was fully documented.

It is true that Queen Elizabeth has been with me all my life. I was greatly interested in her, and the history of her family. She took her part in two of my novels. I saw her five times in my life. I found her an exemplary leader and a fine human being. I am not alone in this. She was thought so the world over. Perhaps that is part of her commonality – everyone knew of her, everyone had an opinion. The majority of those opinions were positive.

I felt pain when she went up the steps to St George’s Chapel for the last time. She can hardly be thought of as a friend, but, perhaps . . .

Perhaps, on this occasion, friendship can be a one way street.

Blessed Be, Elizabeth Regina! Those Choirs of Angels are singing loud and clear.

~ Dale Estey

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They Struggle Out Of Their Wheelchairs To Bow To Queen Elizabeth

It is the final day to view the Lying-in-State of Queen Elizabeth. Thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of folk have made the journey. People are now asked NOT to make an attempt to add to the queue. There is not enough time left to reach Westminster Hall. The waiting time from the end of the queue is currently 10 hours.

I have been watching the lines passing the coffin for hours. It is fascinating to see all these people, whose connection to each other is respect for the Queen. They are of all ages,,races,and social standings.They all, in their fifteen seconds, show some physical sign of respect.

On many occasions, women and men in wheelchairs (most of them elderly), have slowly, and with difficulty, stood so they can offer the Queen a bow.

Her late Majesty was clearly revered.

~ Dale Estey

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A Curtsy For A Dead Queen

A lady, in the garb of a what might be classed as ‘common’, after her slow trudge of hours and hours, in the endless queue of mourners patiently waiting to pass the flag-shrouded coffin of Queen Elizabeth II, stopped and looked long at her fallen monarch, and then executed the most heartfelt curtsy possible.

The line keeps moving: https://www.bbc.com/news/live/uk-62902778

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The Queen Gives Advice

In my novel, Fame’s Victim, my central character, ST (so famous he is known just by initials) has, on a number of occasions, done service for Queen Elizabeth II. They form a certain bond. The following is one of their interactions.

************************************

ST has the momentary feeling that he has been forgotten. The smooth running of the institution of monarchy must continue around the family involved. He imagines no one would be more pleased than the Queen Mother herself. The clasped hands of the Queen relax and she lets them fall to her side. She leans slightly forward as if something in the distance has caught her attention. She then pivots toward the two men.

     “It is expected of me to advise and caution my government.” She looks up at ST. “It is my duty so to do, and my prerogative.”

     “Ma’am?” ST is taken aback.

     “My advice is filtered through my government, and on to my people.”

     “Yes, Ma’am.”

     “As are my cautions.”

     “Ma’am.”

     “There are no grey middlemen at the moment, so I will speak for myself.”

     “That will be appreciated, Ma’am.”

     “You are remaining too reclusive, if Google searches for you are accurate.” She oddly mimics fingers on a keyboard. “I understand the temptations of your North Sea retreat, but they can do you no good.”

     “Ma’am?”

     “You once advised me to rein in my family. The results still prove positive.” The Queen puts a hand on ST’s shoulder. “It is not, however, a balance to go too far in that direction. Do not turn a refuge into a prison.”

     The Queen smiles at him, and her touch on his shoulder becomes a brief pat. She then looks directly at Howard as she steps away from the window.

     “It’s time to move on.”

     “Yes, Ma’am.” Howard starts toward the door.

     “Thank you.” ST is surprised by her comments and his voice is low.

     “Reciprocation.” The Queen is walking quickly across the room. “Howard will facilitate your departure.”

     As she goes through the door Howard has opened, ST takes a last look out the windows. As he turns and starts toward the door he shakes his head.

     “Howard. Was I just rebuked?”

     “No, Sir.” Howard follows him into the corridor and closes the door. “You were given advice by a friend.”

~ Dale Estey

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