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Trump And Obama Walk Into A Bar

trump20obama20inauguration_1485481106491_8902915_ver1-0_1280_720

 

~ What’s your poison, Donald?

~ Before the election, I thought it was the USA – believe me.

~ And now?

~ It’s my own turncoats – and you.

~ That’s what happens when you bring rats aboard the Ship of State.

~ Now  Old Number 44 is using  a sword and stabbing me in the back.

~ Sword of Justice.

~ And you like to twist it.

~ Look at the Statue of Justice.

~ Isn’t she blindfolded?

~ Yeh – and keep your hands to yourself.

~ A man gets certain thoughts, sometimes.

~ A man keeps them as thoughts, Donald.

~ It is too much fun not to share.

~ You’re destroying yourself.

~ Tweet tweet tweet, Barack-Oh.

~ Silence is more than the Golden Arches, Donald.

~ God, I love me that Twitter.

~ It doesn’t do you much good.

~ I vent.

~ You’re out of control .

~ You think so?

~ Even your own people are cleaning up your mess.

~ Yeh, Barack-Oh. That keeps them busy.

~ That’s what you want?

~ Hop hop hopping around at my whim? Yes.

~ How long do you think you can keep them distracted?

~ Oh, I see a second term with my name on it.

 

Obama And Joe Walk Into A Bar To Ponder

bar-e1455884974812

~ What’s your poison, Joe?

~ A Moscow Mule.

~ Since when are you a vodka man?

~ Just trying to fit in with the 46th.

~ Joe!

~ Make him feel at home.

~ That is so not-politically correct in so many ways.

~ Neither is he.

~ Point taken, Joe.

~ Did you just say Putin, Boss?

~ Joe!

~ So, I’ve gone around the mansion.

~ Joe.

~ And I’ve put red stickers on the art work.

~ What?

~ Like they’re sold.

~ Are you messing with him again?

~ Yeh.

~ Joe.

~ But I’m being subliminal as hell.

~ What do you mean?

~ The stickers are really little red squares.

~ What the –

~ He’s going to be on the hot line faster than a goose to the bathroom.

~ Joe.

~ That’s politically correct, isn’t it?

~ Are you shittin’ me, Joe?

~ Boss!

DE

(image)http://i0.wp.com/b-live.in/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/bar-e1455884974812.jpg?resize=350%2C200

Joebama Walk Into A Bar

gilbert-scott-bar

~ What’s your poison, Joe?

~ I think it’s a rum night.

~ Any reason?

~ It’ll encourage me to give him a rum for his money.

~ Joe. You know you’ve got to stop.

~ Yeh, Boss. In January.

~ Messing with his head isn’t going to do any good.

~ It can’t do any harm.

~ True – we’re past that.

~ Gotta have a bit of fun.

~ Hillary could use a bit of fun.

~ I’m not a magician, Boss.

~ True.

~ Though I have a few riffs on The Glass Ceiling surviving Kristallnacht.

~ Joe!

~ Too soon?

~ Not even this time next year.

~ OK.

~ I’ll pretend it’s the rum talking, Joe.

~ OK. I’ll stick to dealing with the 45th.

~ My successor.

~ The old Pussy-Grabber-in-Chief.

~ Joe.

~ I’ve put a few “For a good time, call – ” notes in the washrooms.

~ Joe.

~ I left Melina’s phone number.

~ Joe!

~ Gotta have fun, Barack. There’s only so much rum.

~ True.

~ And I haven’t even started on Pence.

~ Joe!

DE

(image)http://www.stpancraslondon.com/media/1640/gilbert-scott-bar.jpg?anchor=center&mode=crop&quality=90&width=1120&format=jpg&slimmage=true&rnd=131129703970000000&height=549

~

Hillary And Obama Walk Into A Bar

cropped-purple-bar

~ What’s your poison, Madam Secretary?

~ The same as yours, Mister President.

~ Well, we’ve taken care of him. Perhaps some champagne.

~ From California.

~ Of course.

~ And something a little stronger, a little later?

~ I’ll let you choose, Mr. President, at my first formal dinner at The White House.

~ Hardly your first, Hillary.

~ No. But this time “Hail To The Chief” will be for me.

~ True. But Bill and I might hum along.

~ Boys will be boys.

~ And girls will be president.

~ What is precedence, Mr. President. Do I invite the loser?

~ Not such a sore loser. I think it unwise.

~ You don’t think The Donald will behave himself?

~ That’s one thing you will need for the office, Hillary.

~ What?

~ That great sense of humor.

~ You can’t imagine him with his mouth shut?

~ Wrong!

~ OK – I see what you mean by a sense of humor.

~ It always helps to smile when you’re fixing the problems.

~ I’m going to have a lot to smile about.

~ You can handle it, Madam President.

~ Thank you, Mr.President.

~ Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.

DE

(image)http://carlitoswaycocktails.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/cropped-Purple-bar.jpg

Obama And Trump Walk Into A Bar – Election Closes In

bar20fight20morguefile20mcandea_0

 

~ What’s your poison, Donald?

~ The USA is poison – believe me.

~ Not to worry. I’m lancing that for you.

~ You use a sword and you stab in the back.

~ Sword of Justice.

~ And you like to twist it.

~  Look at the Statue of Justice.

~ Isn’t she blindfolded?

~ Yeh – so keep your hands to yourself.

~ A man gets certain thoughts, sometimes.

~ A man keeps them as thoughts, Donald.

~ We gotta put our hands somewhere.

~ Try your pockets.

~ Oh – that shit’s for other people. I get what I want.

~ Not this time.

~ You don’t think I’ll be the 45th president?

~ That slot is reserved for a woman.

~  Ugh – such a nasty woman.

~  Hillary cleaned your clock, Donald.

~ You think so?

~ Wiped the numbers right off your face.

~ When this is over, do you think you could hook us up?

~ With Hillary?

~ Yes.

~ You’ll have to ask Bill.

~ Oh, he won’t mind.

DE

(image)http://news.psu.edu/sites/default/files/styles/threshold-992/public/bar%20fight%20morguefile%20mcandea_0.jpg?itok=AC_X8Igi

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