Variations of these can be used in any Hot hot hot city. For those of us who start getting uncomfortable at anything above 25C, well, I’ll happily close my shutters and have iced coffee.
A story from The Elephant Talks To God
The elephant was on his side in the river, where he had flopped without much ceremony beside the boulder.
He raised his left front and his left hind leg into the air, and his trunk trailed in the current like an eel. He sloshed water over the exposed parts of his body with an erratic fortissimo.
“So.” The elephant gulped water. “Explain fish to me.”
“I beg your pardon.” The boulder sputtered, for it had been caught in the back spray.
“Fish,” said the elephant. “Marine animals; sub-aquatic creatures; denizens of the deep: puffers, scuppers, suckers, guppies, herring, flounder, anchovies — ”
“An elephant,” interrupted God, “has many attributes. But very low on this mammoth list is the ability to be cute.” The boulder paused significantly. “So get to the point.”
“When you’re ponderous, it’s known as being profound,” pointed out the elephant.
“I’m the Creator, so I get to make the rules,” pointed out God. “So. What is it with the fish?”
“Well – they’re so weird. They look strange, they’re poor conversationalists, they breath in water, and they choke on air.” The elephant finally scrambled to his feet. “And they never stay still. It’s always `moving with the current’, or `moving against the current’. I mean no disrespect, and we’re all God’s creatures, but – they’re real losers.”
“I wonder,” asked the boulder, after a moment’s thought, “if you’ve heard about the group of blind men asked to describe an elephant.”
“No,” said the elephant. “I haven’t.”
“Each man touched a different part.”
As God began, he raised his voice for the benefit of the fish, who were ranged in concentric circles around the oblivious elephant. They were going to enjoy this.
I shall repost this repost, as the illustrous life of Erik The Red comes to its close. I was always on the outlook for him when I passed The CSS Acadia.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Erik The Red, the mouser of The CSS Acadia, moored permanently in Halifax harbour as a museum ship, retires today. Even as I write this. So, I will repost my own encounter with Erik, one day during the winter.
Dark comes early these days, and will do so for months. My frequent walks along Halifax harbour now usually begin in the dusk and always end in the dark. The lights near and far are beautiful, and the lack of fellow travellers is pleasing. And any ships that pass in the night on their way to sea are well-lit sights to see.
On ship stays in port, however. It is The CSS Acadia. The CSS Acadia survived the Halifax Explosion and sailed for many a long year afterward. She served in both World Wars and retains her original steam engines and boilers. She even has her original crew quarters. The CSS Acadia is still afloat in Halifax Harbour and is a part of the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic. She is open to visitors and receives many. She also has a cat.
I met the cat the other night (not for the first time). He is an orange tabby called Erik, and is classed as the ship’s Junior Rodent Control Officer (Junior because there is a more senior cat aboard). He is not a “house cat”, but ranges the wharves at will. He is generally intent upon his business but deigns to be friendly. If he deems he has the time, he’ll give you a look over and allow some fraternizing. Perhaps the lack of human folk prompted him to trot toward me and encourage some human hand contact. At any rate he allowed himself to be patted a few minutes. He even walked with me (well . . . scooted around me as I walked) for a few ship lengths before he returned to his nocturnal endeavours. A sleek, gold arrow aimed into the dark.
DE
(image)https://haligonia.ca/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/FB_IMG_1501779912940.jpg
~ Good Day to you, Mr. President.
~ Take it easy, soldier.
~ Sir.
~ You know – at ease.
~ Yes, Sir.
~ What can I get you?
~ I’m not allowed to drink on duty, Sir.
~ I’m your Commander-in-Chief. I can allow it.
~ You’d have to order me, Sir.
~ Would that work?
~ I don’t know, Sir. That’s above my pay grade.
~ Not above mine.
~ No, Sir.
~ I have billions.
~ Yes, Sir.
~ Billions and billions and billions.
~ Yes, Sir.
~ I could pay you to drink.
~ I couldn’t take pay, Sir.
~ It would be a bribe?
~ No other word for it, Sir.
~ So – what do you think of the cross-dressers?
~ Pardon me, Sir?
~ You know – cross-dressers in the military.
~ We’re all cross-dressers in the military, Sir.
~ What?
~We take off our civvies and put on a uniform. Sir.
~ Then that isn’t it.
~ No, Sir.
~ Gotcha. It’s the transgenders.You know them?
~ In truth, I don’t, Sir. Those uniforms keep things private.
~ But you must wonder about them.
~ Not for a second, Sir.
~ You don’t care what’s between their legs?
~ No, Sir.
~ That doesn’t sound natural.
~ Sir, as long as they carry a gun and got my back – I don’t care what’s between their legs.
DE
(image)a57.foxnews.com/images.foxnews.com/content/fox-news/us/2017/04/13/ap-fact-check-do-trump-mar-lago-trips-cost-3-million/_jcr_content/par/featured-media/media-2.img.jpg/876/493/1492068958122.jpg?ve=1&tl=1
~ Pardon me, Mr. President.
~ Sure, kid, I’ll pardon you. What have you done?
~ No, I don’t mean that. I mean, beg my pardon.
~ Polite boy. Delightful. Love that. What?
~ I’m not old enough to be in a bar.
~ That’s OK – I don’t even drink.
~ Then why …
~ Anyway – I can still pardon you, if you need it.
~ … are we …
~ It’s good to be the king.
~ Were you ever a Boy Scout, Mr. President?
~ Boy, Boy Scouts are great. They’re boys and they’re great.
~ But were you –
~ Boys make up Boy Scouts – all boys.
~ That’s why they’re called Boy Scouts, Mr. President.
~ Never too young to get those badges. Tie those knots.
~ We have to work to get –
~ I like tying people up in knots.
~ It takes us hours of –
~ I mean with words – tie them up. No real knots. Lot’s of words. Lots.
~ It takes many hours of work.
~ Though you can tie people up with rope. Many reasons.
~ Mr. President?
~ Yup, Scout boy. Nice uniform.
~ If I do get a drink, will you still pardon me?
~ One billion percent. I will. Maybe more. Trust me.
DE
(image)https://content.assets.pressassociation.io/2017/07/25115234/PA-321782861.jpg
~ I hope you’re going to treat me big time.
~ Now, Spicey – no hard feelings.
~ I serve at the pleasure of the President.
~ I asked you to stay on.
~ You knew I wouldn’t.
~ Yeh – but it’s more important how it looks than how it is. Believe me.
~ How it looks is that you don’t trust me.
~ Well, you turned into kind of a Bozo.
~ Doing what you wanted.
~ Spicey, you should have done better.
~ No one could have hit your curve balls.
~ You did something for me, though.
~ What?
~ Got people to stop taking about that Baldwin bastard and froth over that McCarty bitch.
~ That wasn’t something I organised.
~ Tell you what, though.
~ What?
~ She was kinda funny.
~ And Baldwin wasn’t?
~ Couldn’t see it myself. I don’t have jowls like that.
~ Well …
~ Anyway, I have a great new posting for you.
~ What?
~ Ambassador to the Vatican.
~ You’re shitting me.
~ Yeh. But it was worth the look on your face.
DE
(image)mediahttp://media.vanityfair.com/photos/589e16f5a6fb29f80aee22de/16:9/pass/donald-trump-sean-spicer.jpg?mbid=social_retweet
I have visited Prague for my novel, Kafka In The Castle, and visited many of the places that were part of Kafka’s life. One such place – the small house where he wrote a whole book of short stories – became a setting for a third of my novel.
However, the place where he was employed and toiled for so many years, The Workers’ Accident Insurance Institute for the Kingdom of Bohemia in Prague, I only saw at a distance across a Square. It was not a happy place for Kafka, though he was very successful at his employ, and rose to an administrative position of importance. It was not really much of a setting for my novel.
That building is now a fancy hotel, and Kafka’s office is a room for rent. It is even designated The Franz Kafka room, and contains mementos. It is where I plan to stay when next I visit. I hope there is not a long list of folk wishing to spend the night there, too.
Here is some information, and some photos of the room.
In addition, is one of the few diary entries I wrote, set in his office building, for Kafka In The Castle.
DE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The hotel is situated in the heart of Prague, next to the Old Town Square, where the famous medieval astronomical clock is mounted on the southern wall of the Old Town City Hall. The Neo-Baroque building was built in the 19th century by Alfonse Wertmuller, a famous architect in Prague. It was formerly the office of the Workers’ Accident Insurance of Kingdom of Bohemia, where Franz Kafka worked as an insurance clerk from 1908 to 1922. His spirit can still be felt in the hotel, as his bronze bust welcomes guests in the lobby in front of the majestic stairs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Excerpt from Kafka In The Castle
16 February 1917
There was a commotion at the office today. It was late morning, and from far below, coming up the stairwell, I could hear a voice bellowing: “Doktor Kafka. Doktor Kafka.” It was a terrible voice, full of blood and darkness. I got from my desk and went to the door. There were other voices, trying to calm, saying: “He can’t be disturbed.” But the voice was louder, more horrible, close in the corridor. “Doktor Kafka – for the love of God.” My secretary wanted me to stay inside, hoped the man would just move along the corridor until the police were summoned. But – I was curious; the man had my name, and his voice was … terrified.
I opened the door and stood in front of it. “I’m Kafka,” I said. The man lunged at me, and went to his knees. “Doktor Kafka?” he said. “Yes, I’m Kafka.” He reached out, grabbing for my hand. “Jesus, Jesus, for the love of Jesus – they say that you’ll help me.” He was a heavy man, and looked as if he had the strength to pull off doors, yet the tears burst from his eyes. “I can get no work. I fell from a bridge, and my back is twisted and in pain.” He slumped against the wall, looking at my eyes. “I have a family, Doktor Kafka. A baby not a year old.” “You were working on this bridge?” I asked. “Yes.” His voice slid down his throat. “I was helping repair the surface.” “Then you deserve your insurance. Why can’t you get it?” He straightened up, and tried to stand. “I have to fill in papers; the doctor can see no wounds; the foreman said I drank; because my brother is a thief, I am not to be trusted.” I held out my hand, and he slowly stood. “I’m telling you the truth, Doktor Kafka.” “If that is so,” I said, “you’ll get the money due you.” “I’m so tired,” he said.
I gave instructions to those standing around – no other work was to be done until this man’s case was decided. I took him to my office, where he sat. He sat – practically without a word – for five hours. I summoned a prominent doctor to look at him. The doctor prodded, and the man screamed. Officials from his village were telephoned. I helped him with the details on the forms. His truth was in his pain. He left our stony building with money in his hand, and his worth restored. The people who assisted me had smiles on their faces. A man had needed their help.
(image)https://accelerator-origin.kkomando.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/email-scam-inbox-Komando-created-photo.jpg
From “Dear Email User” to “Dear Beneficiary” my dear email buddies bid me take advantage of the great wealth (and other offers) they wish to shower upon me.
A whole lot of them seem to come in a whole big bunch.
I ponder their kind offers.
DE
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OFFICE
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OFFICE OF DIRECTOR OF PAYMENT UNITED NATIONS. – OFFICE OF DIRECTOR OF PAYMENT UNITED NATIONS. UNITED NATIONS PAYMENT OFFICE, JAKARTA INDONESIA. Attention, I am Mark Anderson, International Director of Payment United Nations payment office Jakarta
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10 Jul | ||||
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Mr. Kelly Jackson
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CONTACT WESTERN UNION OFFICE FOR YOUR PAYMENT – Attn: We have deposited your fund ($4.7 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) Via Western Union department after our finally meeting regarding your fund, All you will do is to contact Western Union director MR
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9 Jul | ||||
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Mr.Robert Gray
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5 Jul | ||||
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DR.PETER IKEY OBI
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Re,Attn Sir/Madam – Hello Dear How are you it has been a long time,actually i have sent you severa emails without receiving your responds. However,as i have not seen your email for a long time now,i have decided to open
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5 Jul | ||||
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Rev. Jerry Mark
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ATTN: Fund Beneficiary – ATTN: Fund Beneficiary We have finally succeeded in getting your package worthy of $7.8Million out of delivery your consignment with the help of Dr Ben Moon Attorney General of Federal High Court of
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4 Jul | ||||
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Mr. Bright Smith
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Bank of America Corporate Office, – Bank of America Corporate Office Headquarters 1100 Mohawk St Utica, NY 13501 Our Ref:BOA/IRU/SFE/15.5/WD/011 United States of America Monday-Friday 8 am-9 pm Eastern Daylight Time (EDT) Saturday and
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Pandora
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25 Jun | ||||
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22 Jun | |||||
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Adweek
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20 Jun | |||||
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Donald Lewis
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20 Jun | ||||
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Updates Facebook
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17 Jun | ||||
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14 Jun | ||||||
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MRS CAROL MARK
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Dear:Beneficiary, – Dear:Beneficiary, I have registered your ATM with UPS this morning and we agreed up that your of USD4.8 in ATM CARD delivery will take place Tomorrow morning so kindly reconfirm you full information to
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12 Jun
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~ You are not quite the tuff bad boy I expected, Herr Donald.
~ Maybe not – but your stiff starchiness is evident, Frau Reich Chancellor.
~ One must keep you and the Tzar of all the Russias in their place.
~ Nothing is going to keep Vlad in his corner of his empire.
~ True.
~ Unless . . .
~ Speak it up, Herr Donald.
~ I dunno – you never know who is listening these days.
~ I think we’re safe – the Tzar is on his way home.
~ But “home” is the operative word, Angie.
~ Then you had best whisper into my shell-like ear.
~ All we’d need is a Twitter GIF of that!
~ Not to worry – I’ll just roll my eyes.
~ Well – Frau Angie – why don’t we form an Anchluss?
~ I think you mean an alliance, Herr Donald.
~ I’ll leave the technicalities to you.
~ And we’d already have an alliance, Der Donald, if you behaved yourself.
~ Did you just say “dear”?
~ Not in this lifetime.
~ Just checking, Angie.
~ Nor the one after.
~ The ladies like a bit of power – if you get my drift.
~ Hell would first freeze over.
~ I’m thinking you might accomplish that, Frau Reich Chancellor.
DE
(image)s.newsweek.com/sites/www.newsweek.com/files/styles/embed-lg/public/2017/07/07/trump-merkel.JPG
